Secrets can be abused.

Let’s be completely real with y’all, we’ve always seen in-group bias on the scene.  It’s not new and has always been around; like a lurking cloud raining droplets of shame from the main stream part of society over us - swingers or anyone who deems themselves as part of the many different alternative lifestyles. 

And I think me and Paul’s discourse at times can be, somewhat bias to people whom are outside the scene; especially when it comes to people in the main stream part of society wanting to remain purposefully ignorant - because it somehow ‘threatens their way of life’, or it could possibly infatuate their fragile little minds. Of course it can’t and no one’s minds are fragile or little.. well unless your a little (now that is a conversation for a whole other time) 

We do voice this, at times - very openly and colourfully, but only when it comes to people who are refusing to learn basic, foundation level information regarding ENM relationships.  (aka ethical non-monogamy) or what us oldies would prefer to call it, swinging, that’s right ‘swinging baby, oh yeah’. 

We don’t mean to be harsh and use inflammatory/ discriminatory language towards the vanilla world at times but growing a thick skin in a world that believes your demonic is needed - in order to survive; and to keep loving. 

(Just so we’re all 100% clear, in- group bias refers to the tendency to favor and give preferential treatment to people who belong to one's own group while showing prejudice against outsiders,) we very are perpetrators of this type of behaviour but it’s only because we’ve always had to defend it to people who are outside of the community. A fine example of this, is when we did a recent BBC interview, which if some of you listened to Paul’s hilarious ‘muggles’ comment, which is of course out of Harry potter. which he said while referencing vanilla people. But in recent days, the Sheer amount of conflict within the society has been very extreme to say the least. Although both sides have a very clear Herd mentality beliefs is the tendency for people's behavior or beliefs to conform to those of the group they belong to and although there appears to to be two very distinct perspectives when it comes to the MSM getting access to our beautiful community, Herd mentality is the tendency for people's behavior or beliefs to conform to those of the group they belong too but this recent challenging of the status quo - when it comes to trying to keep the swinging community a massive, dirty secret. 

Saying this, me and Paul’s own experience of the swinging community and the LGBT community have been nothing but amazing. It’s good to note that the swinging community and the lgbt communities are as separate from each other, (as nudists & swingers are) although like both sets of groups; there are some junctions shall we say - when it crossovers. 

The group membership of the community has on several occasions, become my true family - (when my own switched off from me, due to my own sexuality.) Our own experience of the swinging community has been such a beautiful one, that we had to do a podcast to show it off - so that’s testament to it. The positive effects it’s had on ourselves and many, many others that we’ve introduced to the community (and the kink community/ alternative lifestyles) are no doubt, prevalent. It’s life changing for some and of course, there’s horror stories too but for the majority - the good experiences are phenomenal ones. That shape people and direct themselves in ways, that they just couldn’t; stuck in the vanilla world. 

To be able to explore and express one’s own experience of sexuality isn’t only liberating but it’s needed for our development. Like any things in ourselves, things change. Our identity changes, our tastes, what drives us - what clothes we like, the sports we enjoy, it would be stupid to assume that our sexuality is above this type of continuous change that we go through as we navigate this life. But can social attitudes also change? Absolutely! The social normative has very rarely ever remained the exact same and like many other communities; the swinging community will change and it will never stay the same. But when there’s division and mistrust within a community, which can negatively affect it; meaning it becomes weaker. 

It can’t become weaker, because considering we get enough hate from the outside world - ( the vanilla world or the main stream part of society) coming together now is needed more then ever. If you’re thinking that changing discrimination without education is possible, then I suggest you have a read into social identity theory, intersectionality (feminism) and intergroup bias. Knowledge is power and our awareness of how we can unite to properly attempt of getting rid of legal discrimination is, well 100% needed. I’ve had, too many people come to me who have been unfairly targeted in their work places because of their participation in the swinging community and enough is enough; the legal world needs changing and if there’s anyone up for that challenge..it would 100% be me. There’s no way - people should be blackmailed out of careers and pushed away from their lives : passions, due to having them having no voice and no ‘power’… in a society that doesn’t match how they want to live.

We’re not monsters, just because we enjoy fun with consenting adults; we’re not incompetent because we enjoy sex. We’re not unable to be professionals because once a month we have an orgy. Sexual words are not dirty - sex is not dirty; it’s about time - the main stream part of society has a dose of reality… and for the members of the swinging community who don’t like the very few of us who are brave enough to take the heat from the MSP of society; stop your nonsense of trying to stop us. We all want what’s best and that’s a world - where we all get on. And can live in harmony; away from discrimination and from hatred. The lgbt community are under fire now too; being used a political pawn; there’s no way in hell we will become one. I don’t blame the part of the community who don’t want our way of life to be mainstream though; I don’t. I get why their scared; but there is so much more to why so many got upset and it’s something we are going to dive into properly on a more in depth blog post & even a podcast episode about it

As for the legal part? Stay tuned as I can’t be spilling any beans 🫘 before I’ve had something finalised; negative energy and all.