The conflicted Ninja

What an amazing 4 weekends we've just managed to have, one after the other..(its somewhat crazy to think this post has taken me 4/5 weeks, but oh well..) 💓💓💓💓 Addmitenly being refused entry into pleasures a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night was a bit of a bitch slap in the face but hey ho... It is what it is... (What's causing me more distress - is that I was only telling people on our other social media platforms that our clubs will never bring in these policies regarding the vaccine passports a mere few Months ago... Like 90 days... I was making statements which basically contained this..  "The vanilla places will go along with government policy and laws, the pubs and all the nightclubs will have to go along with it all but our smaller sex clubs will be fine.. We won't need to be vaccinated on order to carry on enjoying life, we don't be indirectly forced or blackmailed. It will be fine.. " Oh wow.. I was wrong, we were both wrong.. ((anythough we wo...

Me and Paul are starting to think that those who know absolutely nothing about the scene (or only a bit - or even worse, think they do) that we're these sexual creatures that are always continually shagging. Like 15 hours a day. We don't eat or sleep, or work. We don't have any hobbies, or any other attachments, that we are always at it. They are sadly wrong.. As much as we all would want to be these sexual gods who have the stamina of a gold medalist, its just not true.  Don't get me wrong, yes we've walked into a last minute house party of around 14 people and in 22.5 seconds we had managed to somehow start a massive orgie which amazenly managed to get shared across 3 rooms (and the kitchen too).... All because of our funny Banta and ADHD energy. We've started a Mexican orgie wave in a field of 250 people by us playing with a a bloke. Almost like the flangacci code hehe, I'm kidding, it's actually the Fibonacci code... And before anyone reads this and ...

Surely as an society - we are strong enough to not be suppressed. But it seems so prevalent that instead so many cannot even recognise the mere fact that we are. We've been brainwashed over generations and generations that our bodies are mere vessels that are to be used to procreate & to be used as a form of attachment. Pleasure it seems is seen as bad, as a form of trauma, or to enjoy our bodies for pleasure - it's seen as a possible result of trauma. Yet our bodies are capable of so much more pleasure - if we explore and allow it.  We've all been so used to just do as we're told, to just accept anything and everything...that we couldn't question something - even if it the falselity of it was staring us straight in the faces. The fear of being different to other 35 people around us creates a fear of rejection, a fear to not want to stand out. I decided very early on - that I wanted to remain like my peers but also wanted to break free... The continual duel conf...

We decided we would go for a naughty meet in the woods. As we both look around - we notice a tall man following us. He follows us both into into the woods. We both look over at him and can see him taking the time to notice my very short dress. At first we ignored his presence and he continues to keep his distance until we both get a bit of the woods that has a small, yet private, cleared area. We both just stand there and begin to kiss and occasionally look over at the man- who we could just make out now. He stands a bit closer to watch Pauls hands running across my dress, tightening his grip around my waist and occasionally positions his fingers so they are tweeking my nipples through the thin frabic of my hippy, flowly dress. We look over again to see this stranger staring straight at us - rubbing his cock through his trousers. Paul begins to push towards you, and as he carries on kissing me deeply - he starts the process of grinding his pelvis against mine. My pussy begins to throng...

Now I know this is hard to believe not I'm not remotely smooth even it comes to chatting up the ladies 🤣🤣🤣 now anyone who knows me, knows me who's reading this - will most probably be laughing so hard - they've dropped their Phone, but the truth of the matter is all I have going for me is the banta. There's no charm whatsoever, Paul however has so much charm and so much charisma, you would think it would be leaving its mark on me - like a newly used tea bag on a brand new white top, but no luck yet. It seems I can make people laugh but when it comes to me trying to saduce them - I fail like you wouldn't believe. (well if you've had the pleasure of witnessing it recently, you'll know exactly what I mean)  So beautiful ladies of the world (well mainly of the UK anyway) please don't think I don't fancy you if my loud 'jack the lad' character triggers in - that's my way of trying to pull you. When in reality I want to be doing something ve...

To fall out of love with someone is lever easy. For your eyes and heart to slowly and gradually let go, and maybe for a while to not be sure of exactly what your feeling, but you know deep, deep down that its no longer love.  Love itself is a mere feeling, a chemical reaction within the chemistry within our minds. Its a complex mixture of all of the feel good chemicals that often blind our logic and reason. The reason behind our minds becoming so closed, so lost that when we first fall in love, it's all down to those chemicals. Those neurobiological chain reactions, They fool our perception, they fool us so much, that we often become unrecognisable people - even to ourselves.  Because emotional intelligence is something that is rarely talked about, its no wonder that so many have no real idea the difference between love and lust, the difference between a true bond and that of a trauma bond. Becoming so wrapped up with what's going on within that said attachment, people often s...

It's been a long 15 months since anyone attended the big bi play at the beautiful Vanilla Alternative :) And it was such an interesting night :)  Paul himself was his normal charming and bubbly self, I however was on edge pretty much most of the entire night :/ I was trying to keep going and kept doing my best at being social with everyone but my poxy aniexty was beating 6 shits out of me. But as Paul perfectly said, (Kim's lovely other half, not my Paul)... 'it's been a good 15 months since people did the clubs and we've all got to get back into the swing of it :p.. And he's absolutely correct.  So I need to stop feeling so damn bad about being so socially awkward and stop beating myself up as the majority of people are in the same boat as myself. The majority of those playing there last night, who were lost in 6ways, 3ways and those were just interacting socially were all just trying to get back into the swing of it. Some a lot easier than others but damn what...